Truth

No matter how many times i forgive,

You'll be sure to break my heart again,

So i won't bother from now on,

All my sympathy has gone.

You were the source of my misery,

That much i figured out,

Why i had to bottle my emotions,

And why my mind is full of doubt.

Why i had to suffer so,

When the bottle overflows,

Why i trusted no one,

No one but darkness and guns.

Lots of times i have thought,

About that one bang and lights going out,

And blades that relieve pain and release ruby liquids,

About eternal sleep where the pain is none.

If it wasn't for my fear of pain,

I wouldn't be here right now,

I could have jumped from the balcony,

In front of a car or a rain of blades...

You refuse to look at what's around you,

Of how many times i had kissed Death's cheek,

Of how he nearly took me under his wing,

After i had fallen asleep.

You don't care, that i already know,

You care about what people say,

Of what you don't have,

You regret day by day.

Well, i'm sorry i wasn't what you wanted,

I'm sorry for being human,

I'm sorry i wasn't born perfect,

I'm sorry for being born at all...

Story of my life...

Can you feel those crystal tears,
That fall through my transparent cheeks?
Of pain, sorrow and agony,
That piled up throughout the week.

Fallen treasures amidst the rain,

My body endured all it could,

Till it was numb and senseless,

If i could catch tears from the sky, i would.

For a moment one could see,

The jewels that hung in midair so magnificently,

The cold that swept and overpowered,

Came with each glittering touch.

Reminding me how dark my soul was,

And how pure those tears were,

Made me cringe in disgust,

As i remembered how i threw away everyone's trust.

Psycho-ing myself to truly believe,

That i was worth nothing to hide the pain,

But it took over and became part of me,

And then real me was eventually slain.

My own worst enemy,

The only one i can trust,

My own destruction,

My only heart, turned to dust.

In the beginning,

When it was laid to waste,

It lay cradled in bandages,

Then turned to ice then stone.

A fortress built so high,

That it shut out the light as far as the eye could see,

When darkness reigned over,

The forgotten stone turned colder than ice.

It was different now,

The stone cracked on its own,

A crack lead to a clean split,

Then crumbled away, all alone.

Lost Control

The mask is taking over,

Tears flow uncontrollably,

I look into the mirror and find,

That painted face staring at me.

Red cheeks, nose and eyes,

Look back from the glass,

With her lips trembling,

She's controlling me through the mask.

My body grows numb,

But I can feel it panic and fret,

From the explosion of emotions,

That I could never forget.

I can't stop now,

Though its tearing me apart,

I should have never let it penetrate me,

Like arrows in the dark.

I should have never let my guard down,

My fatal mistake,

The bottle's being emptied,

But this time, i hope the glass breaks...