Mockingjay

Sunday, December 15, 2013

The Harshest Winter

Dearest love that holds my heart,
Why hast thou grown quiet and cold?
Has your affection for me disintegrated to nothing?
Or has your heart yearn for another to hold?

Eyes that turn away from my own worried ones, 
Once warm hands that pull away from mine,
Looks of disdain cast by that beautiful face,
I beg those lips to not tell me goodbye. 

As snow forms from crying skies,
And fall gently to the dead earth below,
I stand in the bitter cold as you cast me out,
So does hope leave my tortured soul.

Words never graced those lips it seems,
Your actions as loud as a meteor's descent,
Memories are only what we have now,
For Christmas did you want another fool as a present?

Under the mistletoe she stood,
Beaming brightly with a painted face,
Arms around you tight with a look I once had,
You pick her up and whisk her away till you left no trace.

A silent murder in the harsh winters of the heart,
Believing it was spring when my blood slowly froze beneath the skin. 
Awaking to face the most bitter cold,
I couldn't believe I let you win.

And again I speak into the moaning winds,
Asking once again for the answer I long for,
A wondering thought that pleads to have rest,
From the one I had previously so adored.

Dearest love that holds my heart,
Why hast thou grown quiet and cold?
Has your affection for me disintegrated to nothing?
Or has your heart yearn for another to hold?

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Jester's Fate

Tear stained marks upon a painted face,
Bells ringing freely but sorrow sounds out,
Strangled words never leave that forced voice,
Trapped forever in this world of fakery.

Tell me of the jester,
Who leaps and prances on command,
Bound by not strings nor words,
But chains and crowned threats.

Labeled a fool for all to see,
Facades and trickery his bread and butter,
Always a joke and nothing more,
A toy, a tool for all to use.

Madness within madness,
His only asset left to utilize,
Slowly evaporating his own soul,
Soon turning him not into a puppet but the lunatic. 

The rambling fool that no longer pretends,
His shattered insanity in mere pieces,
Yet everything remains the same,
His suffering and inner death never known.

Tear stained marks upon a once painted face,
Bella rang freely but sorrow sounded out,
Strangled words never left that forced voice,
Trapped forever in this world of foolery.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

A Journey

Child of the earth, take me with thee,
Where the oceans roar and rivers sing,
Where winds serenade oh so sweetly,
And where whispers of the earth so great a bounty brings.

Take me on a journey with thee,
Where eagles soar and stallions run,
Kind rains wash away every sorrow,
Where rays of sunset kiss thee when the day is done.

Free from all the shadows,
Outrunning every perusing nightmare,
Worshipping the rotating stars in the sky,
Chasing the winds to God knows where.

A place where wondrous things stretch endlessly,
Valleys and mountains bend to your will,
Flowers rise from the earth to kiss your feet,
A place where time himself had stood still.

Where rains of the monsoon sing thee to sleep,
And soft heather serves to rest thy weary head,
Aurorian lights dance in the night's sky,
Where fires keep thee company till they burn themselves dead.

Child of the earth, take me with thee,
Where the oceans roar and rivers sing,
Where the winds serenade so sweetly,
Where whispers of the earth so great a bounty brings.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Too Precious To Have And To Hold

Tis a broken world that cut us with those shards,
The pieces of glass still lay within us, 
Glowing with luminescent pains of the past,
Reflecting every inch of shattered trust. 

So many cracks within that mirror, 
Savagely done by our own bloodlinked kin, 
The silver separating but still reflects, 
Forgotten stories clawed onto tortured skin. 
Red and angry those marks lay,
Though a death-like blue its heart did beat, 
Dying inside but unable to die, 
A revolving film did we have front seats. 

Forced to relive them against our will,
Remembering was always painful,
Until we'd do anything to take it away, 
Even for a sliver of light, we'd be truly grateful.

A patch of sky one day showed itself,
Not dim but yet not blinding,
Its curious light beckoning with kindness, 
A welcomed change from endless crying.

It stayed and slowly warmed my soul, 
My frozen heart as well,
Only for me did that patch stay,
In its warm light, did i choose to dwell. 

Probably not the wisest decision, 
As it would move where the wind takes it, 
But with wings it blessed my torn soul with, 
In hope that this broken world could one day be lit. 

To be able to feel again, 
To be able to believe, 
Together we share this acursed world,
Immortal souls as thick as thieves.

Promises i would never make, 
Dangers that i would normally fear, 
Hope that i would never dare to believe in, 
And yet roses you made bloom from my tears.
A wounded soul thats bathed in darkness,
Yet you shine with armor a knight would envy,
With flaming heart and hope within,
I can only pray a part of your future, i'll be.

I shall be your light for as long as you let me, 
To ease your sorrows and weary mind,
Chasing back shadows from whence they came, 
To hope for the day you say "You're mine." 

Until that illusion becomes inescapably real,
Allow me to be your healing balm,
Until the day you tire of my presence,
Or until that fading doubt is truly gone.








Monday, October 28, 2013

The Broken Flower

Words that were craved the most,
Touch that disintegrated my skin,
Burning stings from unforgiving tears,
A tongue whose words could never win.

A hand never raised to the youngling,
Yet words that tore and split at her core,
A bruised and beaten soul lay in pieces,
Yet never knowing why or what for.

Caged in the corner of her mind,
She burns the city in fury and agony,
Watching as the flames engulfed her,
A fading hope to finally be free.

She prayed to a God she knew didn't exist,
Asking Him to turn her tears to roses,
She quivered as she stood in the rain,
Forced to stand outside for unknown causes. 

Fear and oblivion were her only friends,
Isolation and silence, her companions;
Trembling when voices were raised,
Familiarity of a home devoid of compassion. 

Eyes that looked upon a world so cruel,
Lips that trembled at the crack of a whip,
Ears that bled from inhuman words,
Wounds so deep but never dripped.










Saturday, October 26, 2013

My Mistake, Your Apology

Silence that was louder than thunder,
Absence that was sharper than a knife,
Untruths as hidden as the immaterial,
Your presence, a painful memory to my life. 

Words i once believed,
A hand i once held dear,
Yet all were lovely lies,
Ever soothing to one's ears.

Gentle lips that had caressed my neck,
Though now it existed bitten and bleeding,
Eyes that i thought understood like no other,
Though now led to my own swollen and grieving. 

You had understood my fading sanity once,
And i believe deep down you still do,
Failure to keep your promised words,
Was what pried me apart from you. 

You understood the depth of words,
Such sweet ones you had uttered,
And still you carelessly let them loose,
Thus like butterflies away my trust fluttered.

You were regretful and apologized,
And still i have yet to recover said wounds,
Your betrayal was the deepest of all,
Written in my skin like ancient runes. 

It matters not what there is left to say,
In my lunacy i deem them all lies,
Yours, mine, theirs, ours,
Enough with fruitless tries.

I whisper into the thinning air,
Was it truly foolish to trust?
I ask to to my reflection before me,
Why did i let you turn me to dust? 

Silence that was louder than thunder,
Absence that was sharper than a knife,
Untruths as hidden as the immaterial,
Your presence, a painful memory to my life. 

Friday, October 25, 2013

What Will Always Be

Hurtful words do not pierce skin,
But instead, they wound the soul,
Blood that weeps from spirit torn,
Sewn shut lips shall take its toll.

Doubt that shreds your inner being,
Unyielding silence reigns supreme,
Blame and fault walk hand in hand,
The crack of that mask, never seen.

To reveal the worlds within a world,
Chip away at those porcelain lies,
That spread and hardened long ago,
To hide away shame and tainted ties.

Regret that stings your very being,
Things that were never in your control,
Fingers pointed with echoing laughter,
Innocence and sanity they long had stole.

With summoned tears and bitten lips,

The light becomes too much to bear,
Rays of white that scorch and burn,
The unforgiving world that was never fair. 

An empty shell that begs for death,

Remnants of tortured souls rot away,
Forever waiting for oblivion to come,
As agony manifests and vows to stay. 



Thursday, June 27, 2013

The Broken Glass

Say goodbye as i disintegrate,
Gazing at the world with defeated eyes,
I crumble away but my reflection remains,
Behind the cracked glass with unheard cries.

The shadows' mockery echoed through my soul,
They watched as my fingers bled when reaching for the light,
They knew the truth but said nothing,
As the salvation i longed for turned into fires of white.

With trembling hands i let go of the edge,
Falling back into the abyss with hope's incarnate, 
The familiar numbness wrapped itself around me, 
While i watched her suffocate and finally greet death.

My kingdom, my people, they welcome me home,
The freezing embrace of darkness the first to appear,
Holding me tight like an abandoned lover,
Telling me not to leave and that i have nothing more to fear.

Turned away and forgotten by the world outside the mirror,
I dance to this intoxicating rhapsody as I seal the way out,
Vowing never again to leave the only place i belonged,
Destroying the mirror without anymore doubts. 

'Never forget that you are alone'
 Alice whispered into my ear,
'Do not make them prove it to you again..
Don't let them see a single tear.'

With hands as cold as a corpse,
I entwine my fingers with hers,
Walking into the realm where she was queen,
Insanity, a blessing and a curse. 

Say goodbye as i disintegrate,
Gazing at the world with defeated eyes,
I crumble away but my reflection remains,
Behind the cracked glass with unheard cries.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Two Types Of People

Within this hollow world,
Tell me who am I to envy,
Those alive but never lived,
Or those entrapped by what they feel and see?

Seconds,hours,years,
They mean nothing to them,
Burnt but never scorched,
Such were the descendants of man.

Going about their lives,
Grabbing at senseless things,
Only to pleasure pride and greed,
Then blaming others for the misfortune they bring.

Words so sharp they tear and slash,
Inflicting pain they could not feel,
Building towers to stand upon,
With the blood of others, they signed their deals.

To not understand pain,
Nor suffering so cruel,
Should they be the ones I envy?
Or should i pity those poor fools?

As for the caged and forlorn,
Dying each day from sorrow and grief,
Speak to me the voices that taunt them,
When oblivion brings them sleep.

Speaking every language,
They translate the essence of beauty,
Into both canvas and stone,
That survive even centuries.

Genius and madness meet at last,
Yet struck by suffering as payment,
Paralyzed from enduring wounds that never heal,
Wishing for gifts only death could send.

Inflicting wounds that leak numbness,
Tired of every spoken lie,
But never daring to cut that last thread,
Afraid to live, afraid to die.

So sing me to sleep,
Away from this inversed world,
Leave me to rest beneath the soil,
Never having to watch ugly truths unfurl.

Monday, June 3, 2013

By The Water's Edge

An endless sunset lies before us,
Beyond the horizon, the sweetest dream,
Breathe its warmth and engulf the spray of the sea,
The gift of the Gods, so serene.

Count the sands to turn back time,
A wish thats so desired,
To tides that reached heaven's skies,
The waves tuned to an angel's lyre.

Trapped in time, adorning the shores,
Intricate gems embed themselves,
Returning to dust upon command,
Are multicoloured seashells.

In the light of the full moon,
Does the water glow and glisten,
The birds that serenade the fish to sleep,
One would truly miss them.

Gentle does the breezes blow,
Making the reeds wave in tune,
To dance, to bend, to sway all night,
To the wind, do they gaily swoon.

Death

"Let him consume you"
The shadows whisper as i die,
Intoxicated by my own fading breath,
I look death straight in the eyes.

I see more than just darkness,
Oblivion in its sweetest form,
I see more than just hatred,
Salvation that could hail a storm.

Staggering to my feet,
I sway to his sweet melody,
Where the notes bleed crimson,
Transforming screams into a rhapsody.

With lips as cold as ice,
He skimmed along my neck so pale,
Gracing all the bruises from my past,
Erasing the memories of a bitter tale.

Take away all my sorrow,
Take away all my pain,
Take me from this accursed world,
Cage me in your domain.

As i embrace his ghostly being at last,
My own turns to dust,
He whispers in my ear to not be afraid,
As i scattered with the sudden gust.

Entwined forever within his world,
Of which my sanity had graciously surrendered,
Desired dreams had finally come to life,
Only to wither away with visions blurred. 

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Murdered Trust

A disintegrated longing,
A sentence never uttered,
A single broken promise,
Yet plenty of hurtful words.

Take a fleeting look at my anger
I hope it burns your eyes out
Take a lingering look at these tears
Who's the one crying now?

You promised me the world,
But clipped my wings behind my back,
Serenaded me with sweet sweet words,
Then made my sanity crack.

Barely standing before you
Completely utterly lost
Like a broken baby bird
In the raging storm tossed.

All i had was my faith in you,
But it was mercilessly slaughtered and killed,
Abandoned and left to drown in tears,
Have you finally had your fill?

The demons come calling
They seek to torment
You've severed my faith
It's too late to repent.

As time turns to dust,
And dreams turn into nothing,
Watch as shadows embrace me,
Mocking as they cut the puppet's strings.

Why didn't you kill me?
My heart longs to devour thee
Why leave me as a monster?
A reflection of what's left of me.

Erase me from this world,
Haven't I suffered enough?
With bloody lips i say goodbye,
To what i thought was once love.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Back Again

Once again the sky grows dark,
Light abandoning this greyish realm,
Shadows return to their sacred homeland,
Malice and sorrow overwhelm.

What was pure now ashen black,
As peace now flees from chaos,
The midnight flame rips open old wounds,
The pain then engulfed the lost.

Everything, everything torn into bits,
They submit to this chain reaction,
A result of an endless pit of lies,
This terrible act of self destruction.

'Welcome home, mistress' they cackle in glee,
Their souless beings gather,
The familiar ice crept into me,
Numbing everything that ever mattered.

Frost and snow appeared at last,
Blanketing the damage done by rage,
Turning anguish and sorrow into beauty,
Continuing from its severed page.

Isolated and frozen, my heart remembers well,
Though the pages are tattered and torn,
But just a glance with tear filled eyes,
One would not read but mourn.

Deep down in this forsaken trench,
I'm back in my abyss,
Clipping away what once were wings,
And kissing the light goodbye with bloody lips.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Final moments

Just one shot,
And it was all gone,
No more games, no more pain,
It was the end of the song.

That ringing blast,
Echoing in my ears,
As metal his flesh,
There's no time for tears.

Say goodbye,
The split second of a breath,
Inhaling those last moments,
Right before greeting death.

Lights flash like stars,
Twinkling out of sight,
Just like my own miserable life,
Pitch black against the light.




Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Round and Round

Round and round this ride doth go,
Faster and faster then it did before,
It creaks and groans under the weight it bore,
Dismantling itself till it was no more.

Round and round it goes alone,
Till even the trees had turned to stone,
Hidden and abandoned, its existence never known,
Through the years, only its pain had grown.

Be rid of this world, is what it wished,
Spinning faster and faster on its little axis,
A strange creature that no one will miss,
It wanted to greet death with a welcoming kiss.

Insanity is poison, insanity is kind,
Manifesting within all different types of minds,
Though everything is but a bitter lie,
It somehow takes away the fear to die.

So round and round their sick minds go,
Rocking between realms, to and fro.
Entrapped in this intricate web of limbo,
In every single second, they live their woes.

Disintegrate, my tortured dear,
Soon there will be nothing to fear,
So wipe away that broken tear,
For you are about to depart from here...

Thursday, March 28, 2013

HomeComing

The smell of rain reaches not this land,
Neither does beauty nor love,
Ugly things come forth from darkness,
As it is forgotten by the world above.

Once upon a time did this magic place prosper,
Based upon an intricate matrix,
Now that the catalyst had turned to dust,
Blood and poison is all that will mix.

One cannot say this place as barren,
For the beings here are not dead,
But neither are they truly living,
They no longer know fear nor dread.

Tears have fallen,
Tears have dried,
Old wounds torn open,
Because of hidden lies.

She flew back to her birthplace,
Now bedecked in shrouds,
It used to be her home,
But now it's just a house.

Big and empty,
There it stood,
Amongst the debris,
Of her broken childhood.

Many things have changed,
But her heart remained the same,
Ever scarred, ever fragile,
From playing life's game.

Maybe she shouldn't have descended,
But stayed afloat in the clouds,
Where they covered the agonizing truth,
Where she was farthest from that house.

The smell of rain reaches not this land,
Neither does beauty nor love,
Ugly things come forth from darkness,
As it is forgotten by the world above.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

How?

Look in the mirror,
What do you see?
What lies before you?
Or what they wanted you to be?

Scars of the past,
Have not yet faded away,
Retraced by trembling fingers,
The memories are still here to stay.

Sealed in a box,
Locked deep beneath the surface,
The whispers of a prayer,
To finally find a purpose.

Tell me how to breathe,
Once the air is poisoned,
Tell me how to dream,
When everything is dashed and broken.

With bloodied nails that stain the walls,
They grasp for the slightest hope,
Ten thousand leagues into darkness,
How is one to cope?...

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Always The Same

A single window,
A thousand tears,
Stained in scarlet,
Painted with fear.

The window's sealed shut,
Frosted from the inside,
Purple-blue fingers try to scrape away,
Layer after layer of ice.

There is no escape,
There is no going back,
Its too late to regret,
When your bones begin to crack.

So it begins,
Death comes slow,
Agonizing as always,
But neither friend nor foe.

Under the snow,
Piled up so high,
Were others like you,
That were living to die.

What would you see,
Through the cracked glass,
Was it worth your pain,
Or was it worth your past?

Illusions are cruel,
They tell us sweet lies,
Is that what you saw?
In your last moments of life?

Just like the others,
Just like the rest,
Puppets in motion,
Up until death...

Rouge


I forgot how lovely it was,
The color of liquid rubies,
Nature's hidden treasure,
Released by beautiful tragedies.

The sound of breaking skin,
That sharp sensation that was once lost,
A sharp blade is all you need,
And X marks the spot. 

Breathe in its sickly sweet scent,
Far more intoxicating than any flower that was ever plucked.
Such a sensational phenomena, 
That it was something even mother earth failed to reconstruct. 

Warm when fresh,
Darker when touched by time,
The shadow's nectar, 
Ever so sublime...

There are those whom are entranced by this beauty of beauties,
Their wish was to drown in a sea of scarlet,
Eyes that glisten then fade to nothing,
Completely immersed in this taboo-ed pleasure...

Return

Everything is turning to ashes,
Right before my very eyes,
The light fading like before,
The shadows rise to embrace me.

Hot tears run down a face made of stone,
Only to turn into icicles and shatter like glass,
All that remained were bitter memories,
And mocking tales of a once sweet past.

Though broken, it reflected its dim light,
To finally experience as to what was joy,
After years of sorrow, suffering and darkness,
This miracle that supposedly was sent from up high.

Just a taste,
Just...one... little...tiny...miniscule...taste,
And it was yanked away,
Then left me drained and disgraced.

Was the light all but a tease?
To show us that no such oasis exists?
Sinking our remaining hopes without mercy,
Checking me off as another victim off its endless list...

In this abyss did I lie,
The familiarity, simply intoxicating,
Echoes of crying everywhere,
Penetrating my heart that had already bled itself dry...





Saturday, January 12, 2013

Butterflies in Camouflage


A thousand wings lay before me,
Turning to dust with fading colors,
Memories engraved in those tinted frames,
Reflecting the lives of our long gone brothers.

Symbols of happiness, freedom and change,
Fly fleetingly by our self shortened lives,
Bleeding for others against our will,
In life, we do what we must to survive.

We live because we are alive,
Though with different colors we are the same,
Speak to me about the definitions of a barbarian,
Whom kill their own kin on a false claim.

In hundreds and thousands, they fell like rain,
All in the name what they think important,
Have our kind not lived without them once before?
Or were they worth the lives that were paid?

What once was freedom,
What once was joy,
Was now playing Soldier as little children,
To being one and sleeping in soil.

Innocent or not,
Those powdered wings beat,
Till they're torn and worn out,
There is no option as to retreat. 

A thousand wings lay before me,
Turning to dust with fading colors,
Memories engraved in those tinted frames,
Reflecting the lives of our long gone brothers.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Just Dreams

Once upon an unfitful slumber,
I dreamed of things that were not to be,
Of fish that flew and ponds of clouds,
And of course, you and me.

I dreamed that I finally had strength,
To say what I've always wanted to say,
And not think about how stupid I would sound,
It was finally the day.

There was a smile on your beautiful face,
Joy that danced in your eyes,
You said nothing but held me close,
For you, I'd roll Love's dice.

Love was gentle,
Love was kind,
But who could say?
What love was truly like?

I ceased to breathe right then and there,
The happiest I've ever been,
I started to cry and right after that,
I realized it was just a dream.

My pillow was wet,
My face was sticky,
My soul probably knew,
That this wasn't a possibility.

Sorrow in my sleep,
Constant yearning during the day,
Unreachable fantasies in my dreams,
I just wanted all of them to go away.

I love you now,
I loved you then,
Even if I were to forget you,
I'm sure I'd fall for you all over again...


Sunday, January 6, 2013

Untitled Pain

It haunts me,
This strange and lonely place,
In which I fade in and out of,
At a very dangerous pace.

Bit by bit, I become deaf to the world,
Endless mourning and weeping rang through my ears,
Though I can hear it, it cannot hear me,
It could see through my eyes, but only I could feel its tears.

As if a previous life had once again opened its eyes,
Only to witness the ultimate betrayal,
The heart of an immortal, broken to bits,
But what I see are storms of hail.

In between reality,I see it,
A body crushed under tons of debris,
Flesh stripped away by stones from the sky,
Its tortured soul weeps for eternity.

It curses and cries, screams and shouts,
Till its all I can hear, driving me insane,
I cannot sleep, I cannot think,
Taking its toll on me, day after day.

These people, called Immortals,
Live forever but to what cost?
emotional pain that led to one's death,
They're soon reincarnated but their sorrow is never lost.

I painted pictures of what i saw,
Of ruined castles in valleys of ice,
Desolate, dark, foreboding,
And bodies that were frozen but still alive.

The betrayal cut so deep,
Agony manifested and took control,
After the pictures were done,
I shot them all.

There was no bullet but yet I was bleeding,
At last the crying finally grew softer,
But the lights started to go out as well,
Maybe we no longer have to suffer.

With closed eyes, I see nothing but darkness,
The voice saying that it doesn't want to open its eyes ever again,
As we both die, the pain resonating through me begins to fade,
My last prayer went to the insane, the ones in love and especially the damned.