Be careful what you wish for

I opened my eyes this morning,

Before the sunrise was due,

The first words i heard were cruel,

More than enough to stab you.

Of how imperfect i was,

That I had nothing,

That i was ungrateful,

Of what misery i bring.

Sunrise symbolized new hope,

For me, that was not true,

It just meant the endurance of another day,

Hopeless and without a clue.

The sunset brought beauty,

The death of another day,

The arrival of oblivion,

Keeps the thoughts at bay.

Staring at the ceiling,

Thinking about all my suffering,

Death or life?

On whom shall i cling?

I reached for my meds,

Too impatient to count,

Popped them all in,

Never took the side affects into account.

I turn over in frustration,

Then everything started to spin,

I heard her banging on the door,

Raging on like she's always been.

I closed my eyes,

And the mask melts away,

I start to lose consciousness,

This time, only my body will stay.

A peaceful death,

Thats all i ever wanted,

To slip away in my sleep,

Free from being taunted.

Dearly Beloved

My perspective is changing,

Greys turns to white,

Wilted roses become potpourri,

Dark skies admit patches of light.

Though not much,

Its the beginning,

Of something much more,

Even the birds are singing.

My guardian angel,

Wrapped his wings around me,

He washed away the surrounding pain,

To my locked heart, did he have the key.

In his embrace,

I shall stay,

Till the end of the world,

I dare say.

Vowing never to leave,

To keep me safe,

To love me always,

Till the end of my days.

I look up at those eyes,

Full of hope and light,

I can't help but feel the same,

And let my heart take flight.

A mere mortal,

Thats all i am,

But if there is anything he needs of me,

I'll do everything i can.

I'll protect that smile,

If its the last thing i do,

Since he'd done so much for me,

Its the least I could possibly do.

I've said it before,

And i'll say it again,

I'm ever grateful to God,

That sent me this man.

I've no idea about the future,

No clue at all,

But what i do know is,

He makes me feel ten feet tall.

Caged

In the corner of a room,

There lay a caged bird,

No matter how it tweeted,

It still lay unheard.

How it flew at the bars,

Pecked, flapped and screeched,

There was no way out,

Forever shall its solitary prisoner, keep.

It looked out from between those bars,

Into a window yonder on,

What did it see?

But freedom, skies and dawn.

Something it can never have,

You can see but never touch,

Or experience or even feel,

On the metal rod, did the bird clutch.

The cage was built around the bird,

There IS no door,

If this bird was immortal,

Imagine the hurt it bore.

Home Bittersweet Home

Stripped of its memories,

The place that I once called home,

Its former glory, faded,

Now in ruins, its own tomb.

The overgrowth of undergrowth,

The rusted doors,

The collapsing pillars,

Hurts my heart right to its core.

The garden is all but gone,

The lemon tree's skeleton remains,

The periwinkles had went to sleep,

The sight of everything makes me weep.

The pine tree no longer stands,

Its scent no longer there,

My hiding place uprooted,

The memories are hard to bear.

The floor is filthy,

The paintings have rotted away,

The dining table chewed by termites,

The walls giving into decay.

My bed now covered in dust,

Tells me how small i was at the time,

My fingers graced that tiny pillow,

As i hold my broken wind chimes.

In that very spot,

I saw my father hit my mother,

In that other spot,

He had tried to strangle her.

From the fallen pillar i stood,

Remembering how i cowered in fear,

Pressing myself against its once full structure,

I shed a single tear.

The house is empty now,

So are the hearts of its past inhabitants,

Scarred with regrets and memories,

Left for a questionable amount of months.

72 to be exact,

Been awhile hasn't it?

To think my mother,

Did not want me to come back,

Just showed me how much love

Our family truly lacked.