Truth

No matter how many times i forgive,

You'll be sure to break my heart again,

So i won't bother from now on,

All my sympathy has gone.

You were the source of my misery,

That much i figured out,

Why i had to bottle my emotions,

And why my mind is full of doubt.

Why i had to suffer so,

When the bottle overflows,

Why i trusted no one,

No one but darkness and guns.

Lots of times i have thought,

About that one bang and lights going out,

And blades that relieve pain and release ruby liquids,

About eternal sleep where the pain is none.

If it wasn't for my fear of pain,

I wouldn't be here right now,

I could have jumped from the balcony,

In front of a car or a rain of blades...

You refuse to look at what's around you,

Of how many times i had kissed Death's cheek,

Of how he nearly took me under his wing,

After i had fallen asleep.

You don't care, that i already know,

You care about what people say,

Of what you don't have,

You regret day by day.

Well, i'm sorry i wasn't what you wanted,

I'm sorry for being human,

I'm sorry i wasn't born perfect,

I'm sorry for being born at all...

Story of my life...

Can you feel those crystal tears,
That fall through my transparent cheeks?
Of pain, sorrow and agony,
That piled up throughout the week.

Fallen treasures amidst the rain,

My body endured all it could,

Till it was numb and senseless,

If i could catch tears from the sky, i would.

For a moment one could see,

The jewels that hung in midair so magnificently,

The cold that swept and overpowered,

Came with each glittering touch.

Reminding me how dark my soul was,

And how pure those tears were,

Made me cringe in disgust,

As i remembered how i threw away everyone's trust.

Psycho-ing myself to truly believe,

That i was worth nothing to hide the pain,

But it took over and became part of me,

And then real me was eventually slain.

My own worst enemy,

The only one i can trust,

My own destruction,

My only heart, turned to dust.

In the beginning,

When it was laid to waste,

It lay cradled in bandages,

Then turned to ice then stone.

A fortress built so high,

That it shut out the light as far as the eye could see,

When darkness reigned over,

The forgotten stone turned colder than ice.

It was different now,

The stone cracked on its own,

A crack lead to a clean split,

Then crumbled away, all alone.

Lost Control

The mask is taking over,

Tears flow uncontrollably,

I look into the mirror and find,

That painted face staring at me.

Red cheeks, nose and eyes,

Look back from the glass,

With her lips trembling,

She's controlling me through the mask.

My body grows numb,

But I can feel it panic and fret,

From the explosion of emotions,

That I could never forget.

I can't stop now,

Though its tearing me apart,

I should have never let it penetrate me,

Like arrows in the dark.

I should have never let my guard down,

My fatal mistake,

The bottle's being emptied,

But this time, i hope the glass breaks...

Crying In The Dark

Under the cover of darkness,

Does the mask turn to dust,

Open the floodgates,

And let them rust.

Dark feelings resurface,

Hurt and betrayal,

When one feels all this,

Does he still believe in angels?

Memories appear,

That were long forgotten,

They bring chaos with them,

As you witness your own destruction.

Unleash those feelings,

For this moment, right now,

Under this cover of darkness,

To no one, you shall bow.

But when the light returns,

The mask will find its way back,

The gates will close,

And from within they'll attack.

Until they're released,

They won't quiet down,

When the shadows are gone,

Your spirit will be bound.

Words of discouragement,

Its poison seeps in,

They tie you down,

And torture you, within.

Put the pain in a bottle,

Close it for now,

Be on your way,

Resume the facade, most foul.

Its about to bubble over,

The lid itself is trembling,

The gates are about to burst open,

The cycle, again is beginning.

Go to your corner,

Turn off the lights,

Let no one see you,

As you slowly die inside.

Hidden

Its all pointless,

Why try at all,

We were born to suffer,

From the moment we could crawl.

Would you call life, fair?

When you're just choking with pain,

Inner screams are drowned out,

While hopes and dreams are slain.

Left with nothing,

What could you feel?

Despair? Anger?

Or emotions unreal?

Fair warning,

Reality is where you are,

Control those emotions,

Or you won't get far.

Hide the hurt,

Hide your past,

Hide what you feel,

Put on that mask.

Soldier on and deceive,

The world around you,

Bottle everything inside,

So they won't have a clue.

How twisted you are,

How frustrated inside,

So tired of everyone,

That you'd rather just die.

The never ending facade,

The mounting sorrow,

I pray for you, dear one,

For the strength to endure tomorrow.

Hear Me Cry

Can you hear me cry?

Tears of sorrow and pain?

Here, stuck in the past,

Inaudible by the rain.

Can you tell me,

Why did you say,

I wasn't important enough,

In every possible way...

I wonder, where we will go,

Will we ever be the same,

If we go our separate ways,

I wonder who's to blame?

After all this time,

Can you hear me cry?

When all you said,

Were nothing but lies.

Can you hear me cry?

Tears of a broken heart,

How did it feel?

When you tore it apart?

My Best Friend

Even if my memories fade,
Even if my heart stopped beating,
Even if I forget the story of us,

I will always remember that feeling.

My pillar of strength,

My heart's secret keeper,

My guardian of hope,

For which my feelings grow deeper.

You won't let me fall,

That much I know,

So hold my hand tight,

And never let me go.

In many ways,

I love you so,

But i fear one day,

You really might go.

Who am I to stop you,

If there's someone else out there,

You deserve the best,

If it makes you happy, I don't care.

Break my heart,

Turn it to dust,

I'll do anything to see that smile,

Even IF breaking it myself is a must.

Your my best friend,

And i love you in more ways than one,

But i know one day,

Our friendship will be done...