'I disown you, Daddy.'

I saw you hitting mommy,
Strangling her against the wall,
You never thought that i'd remember,
Since i was only the height of a doll.

A few years later,
When a few inches came in,
Its like you were never home,
Now mommy had to take out the bin.

Almost a meter high,
And some strange men were at our door,
Demanding money from you,
At the time, i didn't know what for.

My friends' dads knew you well,
A drunk, gambler and a cheat,
Well known in a little town,
Embarrassed, i just stared at my little feet.

A whole decade then past,
After me and mommy left you,
You never ever changed,
Yet you still had names to blame.

New memories flooded in,
From before i was born,
How you took mommy's savings,
And spent it on whores.

Of how you blamed her,
For our bad grades,
When you couldn't even remember,
Our school exam dates.

Now that i look back,
'I disown you, Daddy.'
Was the smartest thing i've ever said,
Until today, i have no regrets. 

(FRAGILE) Handle with care

Bitten once,
twice shy,
Broken twice,
Yet i still didn't cry.

Be strong said a little voice,
Deep inside my head,
But it was also why,
My little heart bled.

I believed in every single word,
That passed those lovely lips,
Like camouflaged darts they flew,
And blew me to bits.

Lies, lies and yet more lies,
Everyday was the same,
I acted like i knew nothing,
Of your 'business meetings' and your old flame.

Now and again you would say,
That you didn't know what i wanted from you,
That i drived you insane.

But in all the years of history did a woman,
Ever have to say that all she wanted was love?
Did you think i came with instructions?
Or get a refund if i didn't 'fit like a glove'?

Maybe it would have been easier,
If i came in bubble wrap and cardboard ware,
With a huge stamp on the box,
That said FRAGILE, handle with care. 

Lost

I see nothing,
but i feel warmth.
I feel it leaving me.

My fingers become cold to the touch.
My hair billowing out behind me.
The breath of Jack Frost down my neck.

The echo of silence fills my ears.
Its snowing, i can sense it landing,
On what used to be the windows of the soul.

The blinds were sealed shut,
Once upon a weary time.
Ever since, eternal winter had come.

Where was this place?
That sunlight never touched.
The place where everything dies.

Memory...
I remember nothing but ice.
The sound of snow.

What was once a sky,
Covered in white.
Mountains then crumbled away.

Trees kneeled to the ground
Light vanished behind shadows.
A crushing pain that pinned me down.

Lands of snow,
Kingdoms of ice,
Be kind to me.

Secret

Like raindrops on harp strings,
The gentle lullaby plays,
It emits temporary bliss,
Yet brings me immense pain.

Sawing at my emotions,
Deep down inside,
Such lovely pure music,
Echoing against a ruined mind.

The projector starts up,
Showing images most foul,
Of things i regretted the most,
That sent my nightmares on a prowl.

Innocence lost,
From a naive little girl,
Who sought shelter from a monster,
And thought him a rare pearl.

A secret buried deep down,
Inside her soiled little heart,
Afraid that it will ever emerge,
She wished that he would just depart.

She wanted him to die,
Along with her shameful secret,
With it eating at her everyday,
Of how she accepted the pervert.

Her own worst enemy,
Her mind beat her down,
That she was no longer pure,
She may as well drown.

Shameful, dirty, stupid,
The names got more worse,
All coming from inside her head,
Her own little curse.

She weeps in secret,
Of how dirty she felt,
When this lullaby played,
Against the secret she could never tell. 

Loved or Feared?

The treasures of a kingdom,
A love letter and a spear,
Which was better?
Love or fear?

Fear was always hiding,
Striking into hearts,
Yet afraid, herself,
Afraid of falling apart.

Her face was but a mask,
But demanding attention all the same,
Blackmail and threats,
You didn't even need to know her name.

Love was always there,
Waiting calm and patiently,
Giving strength to others,
A beacon of hope, so lovely.

Beautiful in every way,
She sought to shield and protect,
Greeting us with open arms,
It is she we cannot forget.

Mighty kings have fallen,
But all true to their word,
To rule with only one queen,
According to whom they preferred.

Dangerous,
Both ladies of white and red,
Have lead their kings to victory,
And to the nightmares they dread. 

Different

Sometimes we are born different, 
Although it wasn't our fate to choose,
Something we could never control,
Yet our name is what society chews.

We were just born,
That was all,
But we were left behind,
They ignored our cries and calls.

My message to these people,
Whose soul suffers like no other,
Know that you were made for a reason,
Not a failure, disappointment or a bother.

Sometimes we can't do things,
Normal people can,
However, we can do things,
Normal people can't.

We are not disabled,
Just able to do different things,
They are so few of us,
The chosen queens and kings.

They do not understand,
How gifted we truly are,
While they make their own hell,
We're setting our own bar.

A mind of a child,
Will never know anxiety,
A house with no windows,
Will never see human cruelty.

A world with no sound,
Will never know the sound of tears,
A world with disappearing memories,
Won't have to revisit its tormented years.

What is normal?
Is there such thing as that?
When everyone is so different,
I'm using that concept as a doormat.

So do not blame those cowards,
They fear what they do not understand,
They make their own problems,
We make our own stand. 

Pressed Flowers

He will love me,
He will love me not,
It was so long ago,
That i almost forgot.

The days we spent,
By the great lake,
Making pinky promises,
We thought could never break.

Cooking together,
At our hated summer camp,
Sabotaging each others food,
But blaming it on the cat.

He loves me,
He loves me not,
You were cute back then,
Even when you had chicken pox.

Sneaking out at night,
To lie under the stars,
A long awaited confession,
Ruined by headlights from dad's car.

It was amazing,
It was a dream,
Until our relationship,
Kept sailing downstream.

He loved me,
He loved me not,
A horrible breakup,
But to who's fault?

I chose my career,
You chose to cheat,
With that twig with long legs,
A piece of firewood could never beat.

But we're both done,
And we've both been through a lot.
It was so long ago,
That I almost forgot.