The Daily Scar

I can't sleep, it seems,
The ache in my heart keeps me awake,
Hush now, dear friend,
How many times must the surface of my skin break?

Be satisfied though,
For the length of my arm is full,
So beautiful is this abstract art,
But its hard hiding it at school.

Others like me,
I have met before,
They're NOT doing it for attention,
Their hearts are truly torn.

Level 3 depression,
In the corner of that room,
At least she's reaching for help,
While I sit in gloom.

I hear things,
Catches of whispers and cold,
My body always aches,
But silence is gold.

I live right under their noses,
Yet they couldn't see,
How much depression,
Was taking its toll on me.

And so I became their punching bag,
In numerous ways,
"I'm not afraid, I just gave up,"
I liked to say.

Self esteem,
Thats lower than low,
Always unsure and worried,
About what? I truly don't know.

My vision starts to blur,
As I grasp for support,
This often happens,
Always without effort.

It spins and it aches,
Then I collapse to the ground.
Few hours later,my friends find me,
And I ask them to shroud what they actually found. 

Numb

Slice through my skin,
Tear out my memory,
Bleed out my sorrow,
And leave me to be.

So numb is my limbs,
That I don't feel the pain,
Just scars and more scars,
Don't you dare call me insane.

My hurt becomes blood,
And leaks like a river,
This was never for the faint hearted,
When they see my condition, their lips start to quiver.

You have eyes but do not see.
Of what was truly happening to me.

Ignorance is bliss,
I know that quote well,
You could have saved me,
But you chose to be blind, that i could tell.

It doesn't matter now,
I don't trust enough to believe,
Whatever you say, good or bad,
Eventually, you're going to leave.

You were someone close to me,
Once upon a time,
I'm only left to remember,
Our friendship in its prime.

Go play in the sun,
With its blinding white light,
And I'll be always here,
Out of mind and out of your sight.

Its not that I don't care,
Its not that I hate you,
Its just that I gave up on everything,
That much is true.

Time For Bed

A kiss for the stars,
A lullaby for the moon,
For I'll be up there,
All too soon.

Send me to bed,
With a hole in my heart,
Why're you feeling guilty?
You've done your part.

You've been good to me,
Up to the very last,
Yes, I've counted,
But time's moving fast.

So turn off the lights,
And leave me to be,
Say goodnight,
Thats the last you'll see of me.

To die in my sleep,
Will be my ultimate wish,
I know, I've heard the comments,
I'm nothing but selfish.

But have you felt what i felt?
My pain and my sorrow?
Experience is something,
You simply can't borrow.

Don't act like you understand,
Cause I know you won't,
So, if your gonna judge me,
Then please, just don't.

Labyrinth Of Roses

The labyrinth I made,

The vows I swore,

To not believe in love,

Rot my heart to its core,

It winds around and around,

Never ending quite yet,

What have I done?

I calm myself and try not to fret.

I can’t get out,

I have no one to blame,

But myself you see,

The faults I claimed.

Those bushes have thorns,

As sharp as can be,

Like those words the other day,

Do you remember what you said to me?

They rip at my flesh,

They release all the pain,

The blood comes flowing,

And dissolve in the rain.

I let them get to me,

My wall was not strong,

So I made this fortress of roses,

I was so sure I wasn’t wrong.

Its fine to protect myself,

That’s what I thought,

Until I couldn’t get out,

No matter how I screamed and fought.

Trapped in my own world,

Where the sickly sweet smell overpowers me,

And thorns that grab and clutch,

They keep telling me not to leave.

But I’ve seen,

Those dead petals on the ground,

Those flowers aren’t forever,

Neither am I, but I am bound.

No one can find me,

Though some wander past,

I truly gave up,

The day after tomorrow will be the last.

Never again,

Am I to believe,

In anything  including happiness,

Or hope or to ever be free.

I’m just waiting,

For all of it to end,

To finally be at peace,

To never see this land again.

Irritation

This room is dusty, I dare say.

But I force the blades to will faster and faster.

Gone is my well trimmed bangs,

For upset I am, now that they lay in clusters.

Its hot and its annoying,

How this day had turned out,

Of misunderstandings and senseless tears,

In this sea of logic, there seems to be a drought.

Think what you wish,

Seems that I have no right to talk,

Everything is bullshit to you,

So I get up and walk.

Further and further,

There goes my mind,

Away from your nonsense,

Away from your treacherous binds.

I tried to be nice,

I tried to be kind,

But you think otherwise,

And think us as flies.

A fly has no brain,

It just eats and goes on its way,

If you see me like that,

Fine, I shall do the same.

But I know then,

You’ll  despise me even more,

For annoying you further,

Even if YOU had caused it so far.

So continue to scold,

Continue to nag,

Seems that I have no choice,

But to become a punching bag.

However, be warned,

If you continue to punch me,

One day in the future, I’m sure I’ll break,

You can’t pick up the pieces, it’ll be too late.

Madness In The Land Behind The Mirror (part 3)

My first Verse-like story. Inspiration initially from Alice Madness Returns AND The Original Alice Books(I'm a teeny bit obsessed with Alice at the moment). Reference from some of my own creations such as *My Candyland*

THE THIRD SHARD

______________

White chocolate balls as deadly as maces,
Candycane hooks so tall,
Rock sugar catapults on their way,
The devious locals had bared them all.

"I mean no harm!" I cried in despair,
"Cease and desist, please do!
I don't want to be killed, this isn't for real!
This definitely can't be true!"

Panting and puffing,
I then looked back,
They're stubby little legs,
Couldn't move so fast.

Something so peculiar,
I stooped down to see,
A swarm of dead flies,
All beneath a sugar lily.

"Don't touch! My dear Alice.",
A voice seemed to say,
"That poisonous beauty,
Is here to stay."

Poisoned beauties,
They stood all around,
"Everything's a danger!..."
I said while spellbound.

I took a few steps backward,
Thinking of how to escape,
But I fell right into a trap,
A liquorice one at that.

The ropes were strong,
The ropes were red,
The ropes were sticky,
Making them hard to tear.

I hung from a cotton candy tree,
Immobile and scared,
The locals soon found me,
And took me to his lair.

Strange machines lay left and right,
Freezing cold steel had blocked out light,
Behind me dragged my heavy feet,
My screams of fear did I keep.

Through clear sugar glass,
I then looked down,
The lowest floor consisted of the cellar,
In an ocean of syrup, could I drown.

Door after door,
We passed in the hall,
Now a thousand stories high,
Thats a long way to fall.

The gingerbread doors,
We passed in the hall,
Rattled and shook,
So "very" strong were those walls.

For the doors crumbled,
Into fine dust,
With each push from inside,
Manifested from bloodlust.

Up and up,
The stairs we climbed,
Into the sky,
Where the clouds never cried.

And on the ledge,
Was where he stood,
The psycho, the maniac,
The creator of cannibal food.

His mouth, lined with stitches,
Began to curve up,
"A new ingredient to experiment with?
Into the dump!"

"What? Wait! NO!"
Thats all i managed to say,
Before a huge purple snake,
Came to carry me away.

I was so close,
To that monstrous thing,
I could see the syrup pumping,
Through its veins.

The Candyman remained seated,
Looked around and paused,
The straitjacket he wore,
Showed how mad he truly was.

"A special delivery,
For the Black Queen herself,
A treat for her highness!
To show that she's nothing,
Regardless of wealth!"

On The Fence With A Smile

Courage and cowardice,
Giving up and strength,
Contradiction at its best,
While sitting on the fence.

Strong enough to let go,
Weak not to continue,
Brave to face the world,
Afraid to be the fool.

What to do,
What to do,
Human hearts,
Brave but few.

The world is cruel,
And so we fight,
But when face to face,
We choose flight.

Bravery and stupidity,
Safety and foolishness,
Should effort be wasted?
Or we be sent to the furnace?

Sloth is bad,
Passiveness is cowardly,
When left no choice,
To whom do we have loyalty?

To chance and hope,
To assurance and despair,
We can't choose both,
That wouldn't be fair.

Labels and looks,
Glares from all around,
No matter which we choose,
Rumors will always surround.

So much to worry,
So little we lived,
So blinded by our world,
Neglected was our greatest gift.

What to do next,
That's left on the list,
Or look up above,
And remember your wish.

To live happily,
With no regrets,
Nothing you'd change,
Every second your best.

Every morning's an extra,
Another present from God,
If its not valued,
Our story might reach its full stop.

Live like its you're best,
Enjoy while you can,
The wonders around you,
In this beautiful land.

So when the time comes,
You'd have your fill,
Not asking why or what if,
Or paying another bill.

Life is too short,
You've heard time and time again,
But it really is true,
It'll be too late to regret, then.