A Writer's Bane

Pens dance across oceans of white and black alike,
Elegantly, they spin and slide to the music they create,
Stories appear and another world is born,
A soul transferred, time lost and a heart, torn.

Slowly they rise as does the sanity of their creator decline,
A thousand lives lived through and a thousand eyes laid down to die,
A thousand tragedies, a thousand joys and still yet a thousand more,
The new land breathes a past that it cannot remember just yet.

A mirror shattered and all shall see through its shards, a piece of who they were,
A reachable kind of immortality that in our cruel world revolved around the concept of popularity,
An art reduced to a tasteless competition amongst manipulated trades of man-made currency,
Relive their lives, they implore you, so they not be forgotten but often, eyes that open do not see.

Stories, malformed and starved of passion are bound and presented,
Yet if they contain what the majority would enjoy, primitive instincts triumph over sophistication.
A kiss of warmth, to gaze into the fire beneath a light full of far away stars,
Yet everyone decides to bake themselves in a cave set alight with the entrance barred.

And so, a thousand lives that never live, die,
A new land breathes its last before it could flourish,
A war ends before it has begun,
A dance of ink and imagination done in vain.

The Narcissist

Roses dim but never grow,
In stars that shine not on saddened eyes,
Screaming yet in silence must,
Still she suffers but cannot die.

Yet you harm and claim blood your own,
Screech in fake agony with pointed finger,
Blasphemous to think other than you were wronged,
Slow poison to your loved ones forever lingered.

With sands that fall and seasons fly,
Hope anew flutters into their hearts,
Yet again and again arrows let loose,
Never letting wounds heal in time.

Questions you take and answers you give,
Doings betray confessions dear,
Remember, remember, and always remember,
Scars reflect in each and every tear.

For is that not the way to break this?
The mirror that holds your perfectly imperfect world?
Where the eyes of the beholder belong on you and only you,
Crowned to reap whatever that comes to.

And shows are celebrated way into the night,
Crocodile tears flood the theater,
You the 'star', with audience held hostage,
Marked and labeled for you to use as you saw fit.

One by one, the crowd will grow,
And more so shall that monstrous ego,
Collect, replace, use, recycle,
Was that not what you're doing to your second doll?

Claim to love but such can you justify?
Or is that the reason at all you fell into such chaos?
For in your world, is love only reciprocal if one suffers?
Is love only reciprocated if they tied themselves to you?

Watch while she wastes away,
Yet still you leech on,
For it was never allowed for her to suffer in your name, is it?
Or better said; it was never allowed for you to be named for it.

A Reply To The Shard Collector

Beautiful words yet they wound me so…
Reminding me of a lifetime that has passed,
No longer am I the same, my love,
The sands are falling and falling fast.

When will you tire of me, my empty self and I?
Time escapes yet hallucinations constantly plague,
They taunt with visions of your departure,
Telling me that all along I indeed was right. 
I do not wish to rip, love,
And I do not wish to harm,
For even if such honor on me is bestowed,
I can only do so with broken arms. 

And do you not deserve more than petty attempts?
Of orders that were deigned as affections we once understood?
I beseech that you turn away from this ugly form of mine,
And remember me the way you most kindly could. 

What I present, I present in pride,
Also to be worthy to all that you are,
As long as remnants of me shall stand,
What will last will be my facades. 

All that is left,
Is what can only suffice,
No longer befitting to your presence, 
Yet I cannot say goodbye. 

And because that is so,
I stay with a painted face,
To hide cracks and missing shards,
I will be by your side until you send me away, your grace.

Can you not see what i have foretold?
What commeth from this soul of mine is twisted,
Unfit for the very consumption of the mind,
Yet you still chose to hold and believe in it.

Mistress dear, understand that remnants remain,
Excavation would only lead to more and more pain.

So i beg of thee, force me not to write,
For my words though blunt are sharp,
And drawing blood upon reasons wrong,
I forbid myself to ever do upon you. 

As i begin to stable myself,
Maybe soon i shall look down without regret,
To pick and hone my skills once more,
So be patient, love, and do not fret. 

I have not abandoned what we cherished once,
Just confidence is missing from it all,
With a hand i soon hope to hold,
I will have strength to once again, stand tall.

Mirrors And Mockery

Bring me the illusion of all I had ever dared to dream of,
And then douse the fire to nothing,
Remnants of embers float to the sky to disintegrate to nothing,
Stars of cold light laugh at them.

The thorned rose hears their cruel jesters,
Opening its dreamy petals to listen but says absolutely nothing,
It's silence as deadly as the poison within its thorns,
Turns away and leaves them to such mockery. 

Cradled sparks that wanted to grow as high as mountains,
Lighting up that dark world for others to see,
A dream nurtured then monstrously murdered in the night,
A changed persona like a virus, came to overthrow. 

It had no place for dreams,
No place for the beauty in the dark nor beauty in the light,
Just floating between realms made on numbness,
Not a care in the world. 

There he stands,
The one who lit those fires and the one who doused them,
Clouded eyes but he claims them clear,
Speaking of things that were colder than the water. 

And what is the little rabbit to make of it?
The one who fell in love with those dancing flames,
Now soaked and beyond frightened,
Shall she run away or approach this mad man? 

The Most Cruel

Random words that string themselves together,
A mind of their own with a puppet to emit them,
Coursing through the air and echoing against cold walls,
Clashing against one another, enough to cut through skin.

Unguarded and fragile it stands,
A heart that after so much torture, still bleeds,
Uttering every hidden syllable treasured dear,
Flowers of self-destruction fruits and reseeds.

A confession, a lie, a sliver of truth,
Crusted by time and rusted shut by fear,
Prized open when fear cancels itself out with fear,
When anticipating the arrival of death, contents spill.

"Beauty divine, unrivaled and flawless...will you spend all of eternity with me?"

Beautiful words twisted into flowers that hang their heads,
A question unanswered while echoing forever in the darkness,
Unwritten and unrecorded except by an already disintegrating memory,
A beloved held close but now whose reach lay farthest.

A broken promise even before it was made,
A word of tenderness now pierced with such cruelty,
A puppet without strings now lay lifeless upon the floor,
Unable to utter any more though in his state of incredulity.

A soul that has left his medium right before that hazardous moment,
An avoided breath of a reply that could have stopped his heart either way,
Be it in pieces or beating so fast that it stopped, guilt floods him for his cruel deed,
His heart was no longer hers to own, tomorrow never, but always yesterday.

The Harshest Winter

Dearest love that holds my heart,

Why hast thou grown quiet and cold?

Has your affection for me disintegrated to nothing?

Or has your heart yearn for another to hold?

Eyes that turn away from my own worried ones, 

Once warm hands that pull away from mine,

Looks of disdain cast by that beautiful face,

I beg those lips to not tell me goodbye. 

As snow forms from crying skies,

And fall gently to the dead earth below,

I stand in the bitter cold as you cast me out,

So does hope leave my tortured soul.

Words never graced those lips it seems,

Your actions as loud as a meteor's descent,

Memories are only what we have now,

For Christmas did you want another fool as a present?

Under the mistletoe she stood,

Beaming brightly with a painted face,

Arms around you tight with a look I once had,

You pick her up and whisk her away till you left no trace.

A silent murder in the harsh winters of the heart,

Believing it was spring when my blood slowly froze beneath the skin. 

Awaking to face the most bitter cold,

I couldn't believe I let you win.

And again I speak into the moaning winds,

Asking once again for the answer I long for,

A wondering thought that pleads to have rest,

From the one I had previously so adored.

Dearest love that holds my heart,

Why hast thou grown quiet and cold?

Has your affection for me disintegrated to nothing?

Or has your heart yearn for another to hold?

The Jester's Fate

Tear stained marks upon a painted face,

Bells ringing freely but sorrow sounds out,

Strangled words never leave that forced voice,

Trapped forever in this world of fakery.

Tell me of the jester,

Who leaps and prances on command,

Bound by not strings nor words,

But chains and crowned threats.

Labeled a fool for all to see,

Facades and trickery his bread and butter,

Always a joke and nothing more,

A toy, a tool for all to use.

Madness within madness,

His only asset left to utilize,

Slowly evaporating his own soul,

Soon turning him not into a puppet but the lunatic. 

The rambling fool that no longer pretends,

His shattered insanity in mere pieces,

Yet everything remains the same,

His suffering and inner death never known.

Tear stained marks upon a once painted face,

Bella rang freely but sorrow sounded out,

Strangled words never left that forced voice,

Trapped forever in this world of foolery.

A Journey

Child of the earth, take me with thee,

Where the oceans roar and rivers sing,

Where winds serenade oh so sweetly,

And where whispers of the earth so great a bounty brings.

Take me on a journey with thee,

Where eagles soar and stallions run,

Kind rains wash away every sorrow,

Where rays of sunset kiss thee when the day is done.

Free from all the shadows,

Outrunning every perusing nightmare,

Worshipping the rotating stars in the sky,

Chasing the winds to God knows where.

A place where wondrous things stretch endlessly,

Valleys and mountains bend to your will,

Flowers rise from the earth to kiss your feet,

A place where time himself had stood still.

Where rains of the monsoon sing thee to sleep,

And soft heather serves to rest thy weary head,

Aurorian lights dance in the night's sky,

Where fires keep thee company till they burn themselves dead.

Child of the earth, take me with thee,

Where the oceans roar and rivers sing,

Where the winds serenade so sweetly,

Where whispers of the earth so great a bounty brings.

Too Precious To Have And To Hold

Tis a broken world that cut us with those shards,
The pieces of glass still lay within us, 
Glowing with luminescent pains of the past,
Reflecting every inch of shattered trust. 

So many cracks within that mirror, 
Savagely done by our own bloodlinked kin, 
The silver separating but still reflects, 
Forgotten stories clawed onto tortured skin. 
Red and angry those marks lay,
Though a death-like blue its heart did beat, 
Dying inside but unable to die, 
A revolving film did we have front seats. 

Forced to relive them against our will,
Remembering was always painful,
Until we'd do anything to take it away, 
Even for a sliver of light, we'd be truly grateful.

A patch of sky one day showed itself,
Not dim but yet not blinding,
Its curious light beckoning with kindness, 
A welcomed change from endless crying.

It stayed and slowly warmed my soul, 
My frozen heart as well,
Only for me did that patch stay,
In its warm light, did i choose to dwell. 

Probably not the wisest decision, 
As it would move where the wind takes it, 
But with wings it blessed my torn soul with, 
In hope that this broken world could one day be lit. 

To be able to feel again, 
To be able to believe, 
Together we share this acursed world,
Immortal souls as thick as thieves.

Promises i would never make, 
Dangers that i would normally fear, 
Hope that i would never dare to believe in, 
And yet roses you made bloom from my tears.
A wounded soul thats bathed in darkness,
Yet you shine with armor a knight would envy,
With flaming heart and hope within,
I can only pray a part of your future, i'll be.

I shall be your light for as long as you let me, 
To ease your sorrows and weary mind,
Chasing back shadows from whence they came, 
To hope for the day you say "You're mine." 

Until that illusion becomes inescapably real,
Allow me to be your healing balm,
Until the day you tire of my presence,
Or until that fading doubt is truly gone.

The Broken Flower

Words that were craved the most,

Touch that disintegrated my skin,

Burning stings from unforgiving tears,

A tongue whose words could never win.

A hand never raised to the youngling,

Yet words that tore and split at her core,

A bruised and beaten soul lay in pieces,

Yet never knowing why or what for.

Caged in the corner of her mind,

She burns the city in fury and agony,

Watching as the flames engulfed her,

A fading hope to finally be free.

She prayed to a God she knew didn't exist,

Asking Him to turn her tears to roses,

She quivered as she stood in the rain,

Forced to stand outside for unknown causes. 

Fear and oblivion were her only friends,

Isolation and silence, her companions;

Trembling when voices were raised,

Familiarity of a home devoid of compassion. 

Eyes that looked upon a world so cruel,

Lips that trembled at the crack of a whip,

Ears that bled from inhuman words,

Wounds so deep but never dripped.

My Mistake, Your Apology

Silence that was louder than thunder,

Absence that was sharper than a knife,

Untruths as hidden as the immaterial,

Your presence, a painful memory to my life. 

Words i once believed,

A hand i once held dear,

Yet all were lovely lies,

Ever soothing to one's ears.

Gentle lips that had caressed my neck,

Though now it existed bitten and bleeding,

Eyes that i thought understood like no other,

Though now led to my own swollen and grieving. 

You had understood my fading sanity once,

And i believe deep down you still do,

Failure to keep your promised words,

Was what pried me apart from you. 

You understood the depth of words,

Such sweet ones you had uttered,

And still you carelessly let them loose,

Thus like butterflies away my trust fluttered.

You were regretful and apologized,

And still i have yet to recover said wounds,

Your betrayal was the deepest of all,

Written in my skin like ancient runes. 

It matters not what there is left to say,

In my lunacy i deem them all lies,

Yours, mine, theirs, ours,

Enough with fruitless tries.

I whisper into the thinning air,

Was it truly foolish to trust?

I ask to to my reflection before me,

Why did i let you turn me to dust? 

Silence that was louder than thunder,

Absence that was sharper than a knife,

Untruths as hidden as the immaterial,

Your presence, a painful memory to my life. 

What Will Always Be

Hurtful words do not pierce skin,
But instead, they wound the soul,
Blood that weeps from spirit torn,
Sewn shut lips shall take its toll.

Doubt that shreds your inner being,
Unyielding silence reigns supreme,
Blame and fault walk hand in hand,
The crack of that mask, never seen.

To reveal the worlds within a world,
Chip away at those porcelain lies,
That spread and hardened long ago,
To hide away shame and tainted ties.

Regret that stings your very being,
Things that were never in your control,
Fingers pointed with echoing laughter,
Innocence and sanity they long had stole.

With summoned tears and bitten lips,
The light becomes too much to bear,
Rays of white that scorch and burn,
The unforgiving world that was never fair. 

An empty shell that begs for death,
Remnants of tortured souls rot away,
Forever waiting for oblivion to come,
As agony manifests and vows to stay. 

The Broken Glass

Say goodbye as i disintegrate,
Gazing at the world with defeated eyes,
I crumble away but my reflection remains,
Behind the cracked glass with unheard cries.

The shadows' mockery echoed through my soul,
They watched as my fingers bled when reaching for the light,
They knew the truth but said nothing,
As the salvation i longed for turned into fires of white.

With trembling hands i let go of the edge,
Falling back into the abyss with hope's incarnate, 
The familiar numbness wrapped itself around me, 
While i watched her suffocate and finally greet death.

My kingdom, my people, they welcome me home,
The freezing embrace of darkness the first to appear,
Holding me tight like an abandoned lover,
Telling me not to leave and that i have nothing more to fear.

Turned away and forgotten by the world outside the mirror,
I dance to this intoxicating rhapsody as I seal the way out,
Vowing never again to leave the only place i belonged,
Destroying the mirror without anymore doubts. 

'Never forget that you are alone'
 Alice whispered into my ear,
'Do not make them prove it to you again..
Don't let them see a single tear.'

With hands as cold as a corpse,
I entwine my fingers with hers,
Walking into the realm where she was queen,
Insanity, a blessing and a curse. 

Say goodbye as i disintegrate,
Gazing at the world with defeated eyes,
I crumble away but my reflection remains,
Behind the cracked glass with unheard cries.

Two Types Of People

Within this hollow world,
Tell me who am I to envy,
Those alive but never lived,
Or those entrapped by what they feel and see?

Seconds,hours,years,
They mean nothing to them,
Burnt but never scorched,
Such were the descendants of man.

Going about their lives,
Grabbing at senseless things,
Only to pleasure pride and greed,
Then blaming others for the misfortune they bring.

Words so sharp they tear and slash,
Inflicting pain they could not feel,
Building towers to stand upon,
With the blood of others, they signed their deals.

To not understand pain,
Nor suffering so cruel,
Should they be the ones I envy?
Or should i pity those poor fools?

As for the caged and forlorn,
Dying each day from sorrow and grief,
Speak to me the voices that taunt them,
When oblivion brings them sleep.

Speaking every language,
They translate the essence of beauty,
Into both canvas and stone,
That survive even centuries.

Genius and madness meet at last,
Yet struck by suffering as payment,
Paralyzed from enduring wounds that never heal,
Wishing for gifts only death could send.

Inflicting wounds that leak numbness,
Tired of every spoken lie,
But never daring to cut that last thread,
Afraid to live, afraid to die.

So sing me to sleep,
Away from this inversed world,
Leave me to rest beneath the soil,
Never having to watch ugly truths unfurl.

By The Water's Edge

An endless sunset lies before us,
Beyond the horizon, the sweetest dream,
Breathe its warmth and engulf the spray of the sea,
The gift of the Gods, so serene.

Count the sands to turn back time,
A wish thats so desired,
To tides that reached heaven's skies,
The waves tuned to an angel's lyre.

Trapped in time, adorning the shores,
Intricate gems embed themselves,
Returning to dust upon command,
Are multicoloured seashells.

In the light of the full moon,
Does the water glow and glisten,
The birds that serenade the fish to sleep,
One would truly miss them.

Gentle does the breezes blow,
Making the reeds wave in tune,
To dance, to bend, to sway all night,
To the wind, do they gaily swoon.

Death

"Let him consume you"
The shadows whisper as i die,
Intoxicated by my own fading breath,
I look death straight in the eyes.

I see more than just darkness,
Oblivion in its sweetest form,
I see more than just hatred,
Salvation that could hail a storm.

Staggering to my feet,
I sway to his sweet melody,
Where the notes bleed crimson,
Transforming screams into a rhapsody.

With lips as cold as ice,
He skimmed along my neck so pale,
Gracing all the bruises from my past,
Erasing the memories of a bitter tale.

Take away all my sorrow,
Take away all my pain,
Take me from this accursed world,
Cage me in your domain.

As i embrace his ghostly being at last,
My own turns to dust,
He whispers in my ear to not be afraid,
As i scattered with the sudden gust.

Entwined forever within his world,
Of which my sanity had graciously surrendered,
Desired dreams had finally come to life,
Only to wither away with visions blurred. 

Murdered Trust

A disintegrated longing,
A sentence never uttered,
A single broken promise,
Yet plenty of hurtful words.

Take a fleeting look at my anger
I hope it burns your eyes out
Take a lingering look at these tears
Who's the one crying now?

You promised me the world,
But clipped my wings behind my back,
Serenaded me with sweet sweet words,
Then made my sanity crack.

Barely standing before you
Completely utterly lost
Like a broken baby bird
In the raging storm tossed.

All i had was my faith in you,
But it was mercilessly slaughtered and killed,
Abandoned and left to drown in tears,
Have you finally had your fill?

The demons come calling
They seek to torment
You've severed my faith
It's too late to repent.

As time turns to dust,
And dreams turn into nothing,
Watch as shadows embrace me,
Mocking as they cut the puppet's strings.

Why didn't you kill me?
My heart longs to devour thee
Why leave me as a monster?
A reflection of what's left of me.

Erase me from this world,
Haven't I suffered enough?
With bloody lips i say goodbye,
To what i thought was once love.

Back Again

Once again the sky grows dark,
Light abandoning this greyish realm,
Shadows return to their sacred homeland,
Malice and sorrow overwhelm.

What was pure now ashen black,
As peace now flees from chaos,
The midnight flame rips open old wounds,
The pain then engulfed the lost.

Everything, everything torn into bits,
They submit to this chain reaction,
A result of an endless pit of lies,
This terrible act of self destruction.

'Welcome home, mistress' they cackle in glee,
Their souless beings gather,
The familiar ice crept into me,
Numbing everything that ever mattered.

Frost and snow appeared at last,
Blanketing the damage done by rage,
Turning anguish and sorrow into beauty,
Continuing from its severed page.

Isolated and frozen, my heart remembers well,
Though the pages are tattered and torn,
But just a glance with tear filled eyes,
One would not read but mourn.

Deep down in this forsaken trench,
I'm back in my abyss,
Clipping away what once were wings,
And kissing the light goodbye with bloody lips.

Final moments

Just one shot,
And it was all gone,
No more games, no more pain,
It was the end of the song.

That ringing blast,
Echoing in my ears,
As metal his flesh,
There's no time for tears.

Say goodbye,
The split second of a breath,
Inhaling those last moments,
Right before greeting death.

Lights flash like stars,
Twinkling out of sight,
Just like my own miserable life,
Pitch black against the light.

Round and Round

Round and round this ride doth go,
Faster and faster then it did before,
It creaks and groans under the weight it bore,
Dismantling itself till it was no more.

Round and round it goes alone,
Till even the trees had turned to stone,
Hidden and abandoned, its existence never known,
Through the years, only its pain had grown.

Be rid of this world, is what it wished,
Spinning faster and faster on its little axis,
A strange creature that no one will miss,
It wanted to greet death with a welcoming kiss.

Insanity is poison, insanity is kind,
Manifesting within all different types of minds,
Though everything is but a bitter lie,
It somehow takes away the fear to die.

So round and round their sick minds go,
Rocking between realms, to and fro.
Entrapped in this intricate web of limbo,
In every single second, they live their woes.

Disintegrate, my tortured dear,
Soon there will be nothing to fear,
So wipe away that broken tear,
For you are about to depart from here...